Republicans Still Have No Plan To Replace Obamacare

But it’s coming, you guys!

the office steve carell michael scott thats what she said

Don’t act like you’re not impressed, America – isn’t the sweet, sweet marriage of politics and dick jokes what you came here for? So yeah, Republicans don’t have a plan to replace Obamacare yet because according to House Speaker Paul Ryan, Trump and his paid insurance shill nominee for Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Price, haven’t been sworn in yet. Oh yeah, and they haven’t actually put together a plan for replacing Obamacare. There’s that also. From MSN, via The Hill:

“Republicans currently do not have a consensus on a detailed replacement plan, which requires hard tradeoffs to put together. Ryan would not commit to saying the replacement will cover just as many people as ObamaCare, which has provided coverage to 20 million people. ‘Look I’m not going to get ahead of our committee process, we’re just beginning to put this together.’”

“Just beginning to put this together”? What in the actual fuck have you assholes been doing for the last SEVEN YEARS?! All we heard about from the moment the ACA passed was how terrible Republicans thought it was and what a disaster it would be. A whole lot of bitching, including from Ryan himself.

Yet in all that time, none of them thought to put their heads together and come up with their own, cohesive plan? It took Democrats less than two years when they had control of both houses and the presidency, but the clock is still ticking for Republicans to come up with one solitary piece of legislation. Man, it’s almost like bitching is easier than coming up with actual solutions to people’s problems.

We also love how Ryan can’t even commit to the simple prospect of all 20 million people keeping their current healthcare coverage. “Let’s not go crazy here – not everybody gets covered. I mean I do – I’m covered, and so are all the people working on the new healthcare legislation – but you other 20 million plebs might have to go fuck yourselves, or at the very least try not to get sick.”

Our favorite part of all this, has to be what Republicans’ orange-tinted overlord said about all this shit yesterday. You see, when Republican Sen. Mike Enzi proposed and passed a budget resolution to defund Obamacare, Chester Cheetah’s butt nugget got all offended and Tweefed out the following:

Two things we love about these Tweefs (you know – what happens when somebody queefs out an ill-advised Tweet): First off, Trump’s master plan is to allow Obamacare to crumble to the point where pretty much everybody is uninsured. Then, Democrats can take the blame. Cool guy. Cool Tweef. About what we’d expect from the guy who does this:

trump donald trump poor poorly educated

Secondly, now you’re hesitant to repeal Obamacare without a replacement? May we please present to this coked-up orangutan Exhibit A: his campaign promise as delivered from his very own website,

“On day one of the Trump Administration, we will ask Congress to immediately deliver a full repeal of Obamacare.”

You know what you must do, Republicans: on January 20th, help Trump fulfill his campaign promise. Give him exactly what he wants and what he promised the American people. We’re sure it’ll work out swimmingly for us all. Except when it doesn’t.

Photo Credits: Meme CaptainGiphy, Pinterest, Imgur, Pinterest, Courthouse News Service, Giphy