The Republican Healthcare Plan In A Nutshell: Try Not To Get Sick

We have less than a month to go before we can change GossiPol’s countdown timer from “Days until President Camacho’s Inauguration” to “Days until President Camacho’s Impeachment.” With time ticking away on the clock before Republicans have control of a rabid orangutan the presidency, the House, and the Senate, the GOP is still short on healthcare proposals. This is not surprising, considering the Republican-controlled Congress has beenand remains – one of the most historically ineffective.

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But hold on a minute – are we talking about the same Republican Congress that constantly bitched about Obamacare and threatened to repeal it? Why yes, yes we are! They are one and the same. Now, far be it from us to accuse these hypocrites of failing to come up with ideas. Oh, they’ve got ideas alright – just not good ones. Now, apparently, the plan is to replace Obamacare with “universal access.” This means that you can buy insurance if you feel like it. That’s sure to give ERs and Urgent Care Centers across the country pause, isn’t it? From the New York Times, via MSN:

“‘Our goal here is to make sure that everybody can buy coverage or find coverage if they choose to,’ a House leadership aide told journalists on the condition of anonymity at a health care briefing organized by Republican leaders. [….] ‘We would like to get to a point where we have what we call universal access, where everybody is able to access coverage to some degree or another. Over the past six years, if you look at the experience we’ve had with the A.C.A. rollout, chasing coverage doesn’t necessarily yield great outcomes.’”

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First of all, how the fuck does the Republican plan translate to people not “chasing coverage”? You’re still looking for the best plan in a sea of plans that only provide coverage “to some degree or another.” Great – so by “some degree or another,” you mean most of the plans won’t fully cover me? How is this better, Republicans? If an insurance carrier only covers 50% of a $100,000 procedure, how am I still not bankrupted when I can’t pony up the other half? We’ve said before that Obamacare needs changes, but is this really the best the GOP could come up with?

But wait, America – it gets so much better. Rep. Bill Huizenga has a super-helpful suggestion for the plebs who can’t afford full coverage – wait it out. From Michigan Live:

“Huizenga says more responsibility needs to shift to the shoulders of patients to reduce costs. [….] The father of five offered a personal example of how this shift might play out. He says his youngest son fell and injured his arm. Not sure if it was sprained or broken, he and his wife decided to wait until the next morning to take the 10-year-old to the doctor’s office, instead of going to the emergency room that night. The arm was broken. ‘We took every precaution but decided to go in the next morning [because of] the cost difference. If he had been more seriously injured, we would have taken him in. [….] If you don’t have a cost difference, you’ll make different decisions.’”

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We don’t even know where to begin with this asshole. To be fair, he immediately regretted saying that, especially since people rightly pointed out that if you don’t immediately treat a broken bone, you can have serious side effects. But at the same time, goddess bless him for accidentally speaking truth to power. This, in actuality, is the Republican health care plan: “Wait it out. Do you really need to treat that broken bone when your deductible is so high?” That’s part of what both parties allegedly want to fix, but that’s not really true, is it? In reality, that’s what liberals like Bernie Sanders want to fix.

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What Republicans like Rep. Huizenga want to fix are the burdensome costs on the poor insurance companies. Because guess who contributes the most to his campaign? You guessed it – insurance companies. Just like Trump’s appointee for Health and Human Services Secretary, Rep. Tom Price, the politicians who want your premiums to go up are the same assholes who take in massive amounts of cash from insurance companies and drug manufacturers. Remember that when you go the polls for mid-term elections, America. You’ll remember better if you don’t go to the polls hopped on meth and computer duster again.

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Photo Credits: Head Over Feels, Giphy, WiffleGIF, Blavity, Rebloggy


One thought on “The Republican Healthcare Plan In A Nutshell: Try Not To Get Sick

  1. Pingback: Republicans Still Have No Plan To Replace Obamacare | GossiPol

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