Kim Jong-Un Went On Epic Bender, Almost Killed Entire Staff Of Generals

Today must be Dictator Day here at GossiPol.

Team Coco conan obrien wiz khalifa thats what she said

Because we love dick jokes as much as we love slagging off dictators, it only seems appropriate. Today’s second dictator story comes to us from the glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea – better known to the rest of the world as North Korea. Their glorious leader, seen here after destroying a Golden Corral all-you-can-eat buffet:

kim jong un

Decided to wash it all down with a gallon or so of booze. While partying at his summer villa back in September, North Korea’s Glorious Eater Leader got shit-housed and began berating his top generals. From the New York Post:

“‘That none of you were able to produce not even one military satellite is a misconduct that is commensurate to treason,’ the sauced despot allegedly told his country’s top military brass during an all-night reprimand. But the next morning, the tyrant was no longer inebriated and asked why the elderly officials were at his villa, apparently having no memory of his tanked-up tirade, UPI reported. ‘Why are you gathered here? Kim allegedly said, adding: ‘Be careful about your health because you are all old.’ With that, the military men began crying [….] ‘They were relieved because they thought they were going to be purged,’ a source told Tokyo Shimbun.”

This makes us feel good about all the embarrassing shit we’ve done drunk. No matter how stupid wasted we’ve been, we’ve never even come close to murdering a bunch of our friends. Then again, we’ve never polished off ten bottles of Bordeaux wine before. We don’t wanna call our boy Kimmy fat, because we know how much he hates that.

Image result for kim jong un fat gif

So instead we’ll say that only a man of his – enormous girth – could handle the amount of booze it would take to make you forget that you meant to execute your entire staff of generals. Our advice to Kimmy would be to lay off the sauce before he actually follows through on one of his drunken ideas.

Image result for kim jong un executed uncle drunk

Oh – never mind, then.

Photo Credits: GiphyGiphy, Giphy, Know Your Meme, Newser