In An Ironic Twist, Trump’s EPA Administrator Pick Doesn’t Like The Environment Too Much

Not that it’s mandatory to want to, you know, protect the environment if you’re going to be the Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, but it certainly does help. Today Reuters broke the story that the Orange Don is cementing his legacy as a terrible decision-maker by nominating Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt to head up the EPA. He’s seen here, looking like George W. Bush and Alfred P. Neuman’s butt baby.

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It’s a weird choice, to say the least, since the Republican Party’s Mad Magazine poster-child has been at war with the EPA ever since he took office as AG in 2011. He’s sued them at least a dozen times over their pesky regulations on things like coal emissions, methane emissions, and mercury waste from power plants. He’s failed on every single one of those lawsuits, just like he was unsuccessful at keeping those sinful gays from marrying and outlawing abortion. But our boy is nothing, if not persistent, when it comes to his devotion in wasting taxpayer dollars. It cost the state of Oklahoma $5 million dollars just to pay private lawyers to work on two cases. But hey, it’s a small price to pay to keep the Gawt-damn federal guvment’s hands off your precious pollution, amirite Oklahoma?

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But why does Pruitt hate the EPA so much? We’re sure it’s just because he’s a big believer in small government, and not because he’s getting millions of dollars in donations from energy companies. We’re sure he’s not so in bed with said companies that they even wrote a fucking briefs and letters for him without claiming authorship.

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So yeah, this is the guy Trump wants to lead the EPA. Typically, the head of the EPA has some sort of scientific degree and has some sort of experience in dealing with environmental regulations. When they haven’t, the consequences have been – predictable. Take Christine Todd Whitman, W’s pick for EPA Administrator. She had a B.A. in government and no prior environmental experience. After 9/11 she promptly assured everyone that the air around Ground Zero was “safe to breathe.” That obviously turned out to be:

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But hey, let’s repeat history and pick another person who thinks science is a four-letter word to head up the EPA. Jesus, Republicans, when did this shift in your party happen? Because you know who created the EPA? Richard Fucking Nixon.

Yes, the word “conservative” actually derives from the term “conservation.” Republicans were the ones who initially came up with the idea that we don’t want to completely fuck our environment. Why has that become such a bad thing? Let’s just pretend, anti-EPA Republicans, that man-made climate change doesn’t exist. Do you want everybody and their brother to throw their trash in your back yard? How would you like to live next to a business that dumps toxins into your water supply? If you love coal plants so much, how would you like to mine that coal and get black lung? Why are you fighting regulations that prevent all of those bad things from happening? Oh yeah, that’s right:

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Energy companies that donate to your campaigns make more money when there’s less regulation, don’t they? Well, if our future EPA chief can’t win any of the lawsuits he filed as AG, he might as well win some more campaign donations.

Photo Credits: PopKeyNewsOn6.com, KanyeToThe.com, WiffleGif, WiffleGif, Giphy

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