Remember when the Orange Don was asked about being a 12-year-old internet troll trapped in the body of a 70-year-old curdled cheese dumpling? Remember his response? Here, we’ll remind you:
“I could be more Presidential than anybody. I can be more Presidential, if I want to be, I can be more Presidential than anybody.”
We’re assuming when he was talking about how “presidential” his temperament was going to be, he wasn’t talking about Teddy Roosevelt, but about this guy:
And boy, howdy, is he achieving that goal! Over the last week, Trump has already managed to start shit with one of our biggest trading partners before he even sets foot in the Oval Office. And here you liberals were worried he wouldn’t achieve anything.
Last week, the Orange Don called the President of Taiwan, Tsai Ing-Wen. No big deal, right? That’s the problem. To China, it IS a big deal. You see, China still considers Taiwan to be part of their country, even though they’re technically not and haven’t been since the late 19th century. Ever since President Carter, the US has not diplomatically recognized Taiwan as a separate country, even though they totally are – I’ve got two stamps in my passport to prove it. Still, ever since then, we’ve done everything in our power to placate China by refusing to formally acknowledge Taiwan as an independent nation, despite the fact that we still do business with them.
Got it, America? Good. Now go tell the incoming president before he does something stupid.
Well, that’s OK. China’s President, Xi Jinping, didn’t start World War III over the call, especially since he knows it probably had about as much substance as Trump’s conversation with Pakistan’s prime minister.China still got pissed enough to lodge a formal complaint with our government. But word on the street is, President Xi knows Donald Trump is a fucking idiot, and so is willing to let shit slide.
Of course, never let it be said that the Orange Don doesn’t know how to dig deeper into his own grave. After he heard the blowback (ha!) about his Taiwan call, he responded in the most “presidential” way possible – by going on a Twitter rant.
You know, we could have given Trump credit for opening up diplomatic relations with Taiwan. It probably is time to change our policy with them. However, we can’t credit somebody for having some brilliant master plan when he doesn’t even take the time out of his busy Tweeting schedule to read the goddamn security briefings. And when his advisers act like they don’t understand what the big deal is, it makes you wonder when they say they had a “strategy” if they’re not protesting a little too much. Really – you had a “strategy?” A strategy to undo almost 40 years of diplomatic protocol, and then you’re surprised at people’s strong reactions? Trump people, if you want to change the protocol, have at it. Can you just please, for the love of God, at least pretend that it was intentional and not due to your narcissistic orangutan boss having impulse-control issues? The American people would appreciate it.