Let’s Talk About Healthcare, America

Specifically, what’s going to happen to it now that a narcissistic orangutan is going to be in charge of it. Right now, we have the Affordable Care Act, better known as Obamacare. It’s got some pretty awesome shit going for it, like covering people regardless of pre-existing conditions and covering young adults. It’s also got some drawbacks too, though. Over 2 million people were left without insurance after private companies decided to get the hell out of dodge when faced with the dilemma of either doing their jobs correctly or making more money. Five different states only have one insurer on the market, which is not exactly competitive.

Don’t worry, though, America – Republicans are here to fix your healthcare woes.

Image result for unenthusiastic gif

Try to act a little more excited. If Democrats fucked up healthcare, how bad could Republicans be? Well, glad you asked. Apparently, a lot worse. First, they’ve got a master plan to repeal Obamacare and replace it with – something? Nothing? Don’t ask them, they’re still working on it. From The Hill:

“House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) said Tuesday that Republicans could repeal ObamaCare even before they have come up with a replacement. ‘I don’t think you have to wait,’ McCarthy told reporters. ‘My personal belief, and nothing’s been decided yet, but I would move through and repeal and then go to work on replacing.’ [….] Republicans have called for a transition period, meaning ObamaCare would not immediately go away once repeal passes, but would instead be phased out [….] Even with that transition period, though, experts warn insurers could bail out on the current system once they learn it is being phased out, leaving ObamaCare enrollees with no options.”

Image result for great idea gif

Does anyone have any better ideas? Oh look, it’s Trump’s new Health and Human Services Secretary, Rep. Tom Price, a Republican congressman from Georgia, seen here rocking Sharpie-painted eyebrows and a gay pornstache (not that that’s necessarily a bad thing).

Image result for tom price

He’s a doctor – does he have a way to fix things? Yeah, if your idea of “fixing things” includes paying higher deductibles and doing away with the mandate on covering pre-existing conditions. He also wants to prevent employers from offering “overly generous” benefits to their employees by capping how much employers can deduct insurance costs on their taxes. Because people hate having too much insurance. It’s a real drag being fully-covered when you get sick.

Image result for eye roll gif

At least those vulnerable insurance and pharmaceutical companies will be protected by their boy, Tom Price. They pay him well enough to make sure of that.

But Price’s only concern is for the patients. As he told a roomful of Republican wonks, “[Democrats] believe the government ought to be in control of health care, [while Republicans] believe that patients and doctors should be in control of health care.” Yeah, says the man who vehemently opposes a woman’s right to choose and even introduced an ultimately failed bill to mandate that life begins at conception. The guy who doesn’t want female patients to make a decision between themselves and their doctors on whether to take birth control pills or have an abortion is all of sudden a big believer in keeping the government out of people’s medical decisions?

RuPaul's Drag Race S5 laughing tv show rupauls drag race rupaul

And let’s not even talk about his record on anti-discrimination laws. You don’t want to know, America. Isn’t it enough to know that your deductibles are about to go sky high?

Photo Credits: Primo GIFsGIF Hell, Tenor, Washington Post, Imgur, Giphy