President-Elect Camacho Made Some Choices This Past Week

When you hear the word “choices,” it has to be said in exactly the derisive and judgmental tone that drag queen extraordinaire, Tatianna would say it:

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Because gurl, the Orange Don made some choices, and they were something to behold. First, he made some hiring decisions for his White House staff. He named RNC head Reince Priebus as his Chief of Staff. Which must have gone over well with his new Chief Strategist, Steve Bannon (we’ll get to that racist turd in our next post or two). These two fucking hate each other, as evidenced by Bannon’s former (ha!) news organization Breitbart running an article a few days ago basically begging Trump not to pick Priebus as Chief of Staff.

Then, Trump decided to walk back pretty much all of his campaign promises during a 60 Minutes interview that aired this past Sunday. Not that we’re complaining, since what he promised to do was pretty shitty, but we’re pretty sure the Orange Don’s supporters won’t be too happy that Trump decided just to deport a few million “criminals” instead of 11 million undocumented immigrants. They’ll probably be even more unhappy that he pooned out on his promise to prosecute KILLARY for crimes that don’t even exist in the US Code. After all, he doesn’t “want to hurt her.” That whole bit about repealing Obamacare? It’s totally happening, you guys. Except for the parts that are awesome, like covering a pre-existing condition and covering adult children. Those parts will stay. My favorite is when he said he was going to “drain the swamp” of DC lobbyists. What he really meant to say was, he loves swamps so much he may as well set up Trump Towers in the Everglades. He’s hired lobbyists to head his transition team for the Energy and Commerce Departments, among other things.

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But our favorite has to be the news that broke yesterday from CBS. Chester Cheetah’s butt dingle asked about top secret security clearances for his three beloved children, American Psycho, Bloodless Vampire, and Stockholm Syndrome Barbie. Excuse us a moment:

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Because of course the Orange Don would want his hapless offspring to advise him on national security, even though they lied through their porcelain veneers on 60 Minutes and said they would never dream of doing such a thing. That’s not going to create a Clinton Foundation-level conflict of interest, what with the kids also running Daddy’s successful businesses as part of that bullshit “blind trust” thing they’ve got going. Trump’s people have tried to deny that the Daddy Warbucks with a Dollar Store weave asked about those security clearances, but they’re not particularly convincing.

So yeah, Trump’s made some choices. And based on what we’ve seen in the last week, we’re in for a bumpy ride, America.

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Photo Credits: GiphyGiphy, Giphy, Tenor, Giphy