Russia’s Hack Tells Us What We Already Knew: The DNC Totally Mean-Girled Bernie Sanders

Things were looking really good for Democrats as of last week, you guys. First we had Michelle Obama give a rousing speech about family values disguised as Trump’s Slovenian mail-order bride. Then Ted Cruz took a big ole steaming dump all over the convention stage instead of endorsing the Orange Don. So yeah, things were looking pretty good. Until Friday evening, when WikiLeaks decided to release almost 20,000 emails hacked from the DNC server.

The source of the leak is pretty obviously Russia, since Guccifer 2.0 is the source. Putin and Trump’s bromance is well-documented, so it’s not beyond the pale that Russia would do something like this.

trump putin jong una hunt

Russia is already super-tight with Trump’s campaign advisor, Paul Manafort, who acted as advisor to ex-president of Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych, before Yanukovych was ousted for being a corrupt puppet of Putin. And it’s not like this is the first time Russia has tried to drive Western politics to the far right. Hey Russia, can you do us a solid and hack the RNC database? Because we would all love to see Republicans shit the bed in email form.

But back to the DNC emails, because no matter who’s involved in the hack, they didn’t make up the shit they found in those emails. The emails make clear that, at the very least, the DNC did not like Bernie. Several staffers came up with some pretty shitty ideas on how to combat Bernie’s popularity. DNC chief financial officer Brad Marshall had a super shady way of doing just that. From the Washington Post:

“It might [make] no difference, but for KY and WVA can we get someone to ask his belief. Does he believe in a God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage. I think I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist. [….] It’s [a] Jesus thing.”

Awesome, so the same shit liberals complain about Republicans doing was a potential strategy for Democrats. Nice.

Even worse, the DNC seemed like they were favoring Hillary’s campaign, despite their protestations to the contrary.

So let’s tick through the list of the ways in which the DNC favored Hillary, shall we? One of Hillary’s lawyers, Mark Elias, advised the DNC on how to push back against accusations that Hillary was unfairly benefitting from the joint DNC fund. The DNC press secretary also suggested releasing a narrative about how Bernie’s campaign was a failure. The DNC communications director even ordered an anti-Bernie article be shared without attribution. In other words, people would read some negative Bernie shit without knowing it came from the very same DNC that was supposed to be neutral.

the big lebowski angry rules john goodman the dude

Which brings us to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, chairperson of the DNC. You know, Hillary’s bestie who would never stack the deck in favor of her girl. Well, turns out, she might not have liked Bernie so much, and did everything she could to spread the word in the media that Bernie Bros were mean and the DNC was totally neutral (even though they weren’t). So yeah, DWS obviously had to step down.

But don’t cry for her, Argentina. She’s going to be just fine. She has a new job, with – you guessed it – Hillary Clinton. That’s right; Hillary, completely tone-deaf to what’s going on around her (as usual), decided it’d be great to confirm everyone’s suspicions that DWS was unfairly partisan by hiring her as the chair of her presidential campaign. Sigh. Hillary, gurl, there’s this thing called timing. Your girl Debbie isn’t hurting for money, what with all the Goldman Sachs donations she’s been getting. So why, oh why do you have to hire her right after she resigns in disgrace from her DNC gig? Do you want Trump to get elected? Because that’s how we get Trump elected.

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