Ted Cruz and Sean Hannity Have a Lovers Quarrel

Once upon a time, Sean Hannity used to be Ted Cruz’s ride-or-die bitch. They would go on long walks in the park, make achingly passionate love, but more than anything, they would just – talk. They would just hold hands, and – talk. That was what made the relationship more beautiful than anything.

Well, conservative America, your two dads hate to break this to you, but – they’ve decided, after a lot of thought, to have a trial separation. They love each other, you see, but they’re just not in love with each other anymore. They still love you though. Very much. Of course, kids, you know that’s not exactly true. As much as they love you, they hate each other more. They hate each other so much, they’ve taken things from simmering resentment to full-on, public screaming matches. From Business Insider:

Hannity pointed out that the Cruz campaign has focused on wooing delegates who might be able to switch their votes from Trump to Cruz on a second convention ballot.

“It’s more than a process question,” Hannity said. “It’s an integrity-of-the-election question.”

Cruz responded that the “only people asking this question are the hardcore Donald Trump supporters.”

[….] “Senator, why do you do this every single time?” Hannity asked, cutting Cruz off as he was speaking. “You’ve got to stop. Every time I have you on the air, and I ask a legitimate question, you try to throw this in my face. I’m getting sick of it. I’ve had you on more than any other candidate on radio and TV. So if I ask you, senator, a legitimate question to explain to the audience, why don’t you just answer it?”

Cruz asked if he could answer Hannity’s question “without being interrupted.”

All Cruz wants to do is co-parent the Republican party with Hannity without dragging each other through the mud. The last thing you should do is badmouth the ex-spouse to the kids, right? Well, Hannity still has an ax to grind over the way the relationship went down, and he’s taking that beef straight to Twitter. Here’s a few of his choicest tweefs (that’s mouth-queefing on Twitter, for you amateurs) from Media Matters:

“I was asking a simple question that clearly [Cruz] didn’t like. I think voters have a right to know the answer.”

“Total BS. Listen to the interview.  I asked [Cruz] to explain the process his campaigning is using.”

“The only thing pathetic here is [critics on Twitter] lying about the interview. I asked a simple question, maybe [they] can answer it.”

Damn Hannity, gurl, the claws are OUT now, aren’t they? You don’t even care if Cruz gets everything in the divorce, you just wanna make sure everybody knows what a cheating, lying scumbag he is.

revenge angela bassett waiting to exhale

Way to not give him the power, right? In a fight between two assholes over custody and control of the Republican party it’s hard to know who’s side to take. Can’t they both lose? If GossiPol were the judge in this custody case (you know – if Judge Judy is unavailable), we would definitely side with Ted Cruz. Hold on a sec…

Reaction GIF: throw up, disgust, Woody Harrelson

Why, you ask? Because Ted Cruz is a monster of Sean Hannity’s own making. Sean Hannity getting mad at Ted Cruz is like Dr. Frankenstein getting pissed at his creation for being a rampaging zombie. For years now, Hannity has gone on divisive diatribes on his radio and TV shows, calling anyone in his party who disagrees with his ultra-conservative views a RINO (Republican In Name Only). If you’re not a tea partier dickwad, in Sean Hannity’s eyes you’re a traitor to the cause. So now when Ted Cruz, who uses the self-same tactics as his husband, Hannity, becomes popular, Hannity is somehow upset?

bitch please

Photo Credits: ImgurGiphy, Giphy, Reply Gif, Giphy