Today is April 20th. As we’ve already covered in our previous blog post, April 20th is a sacred holiday that celebrates burning down some of the dankest weed you can get your hands on. It is also the day after the New York primaries, which had very un-dank results: both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump scored major victories last night. America, we know you wanted to do a little anticipatory 4/20 celebrating, but that doesn’t excuse you going to the polls baked out of your fucking gourd.
On the bright side, Ted Cruz came in dead last, as he fucking should. He even lost one district to literal sleeper candidate Ben Carson, who isn’t even running anymore. It’s not clear why Ted Cruz did so poorly in New York. Maybe it was that whole New York values kerfuffle (trademark: Judge Judith Sheindlin) which led to a series of hilarious NY Daily News covers.
Perhaps it was the shit-show that was his CNN Town Hall, where he paraded his hostages – I mean, family – around in a transparent attempt to appear likeable. Or maybe, it’s the fact that New Yorkers read GossiPol and have carefully studied our many articles on the subject of Ted Cruz’s fuckery. Whatever way you slice it, New York told Ted Cruz where he could shove it, and GossiPol could not be happier. Because of that, and because it’s 4/20, and because no matter the outcome of this election, Bernie Sanders has changed American politics for the better, we are going to celebrate these decidedly un-dank results with a decidedly dank Bernie Sanders meme.