Genteel Southern Lady Lindsey Graham Kinda Sorta Endorses Ted Cruz

And by “endorses” I mean “hard-core negs.” Blushing debutante and South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham once correctly said that choosing between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz for president is like having to choose between “being shot or poisoned. What does it really matter?” Now that Ms. Graham is caught between a rock and a hard place:

Jeb Bush That's What She Said gif

I’m WORKING Jeb! Anyway, now that Lindsey is in a – ahem – perilous situation, he has apparently decided that he would rather be poisoned. From CNN:

“I think he’s the best alternative to beat Donald Trump. […] I have doubts about Mr. Trump, I don’t think he’s a Republican, I don’t think he’s a conservative, I think his campaign’s built on xenophobia, race-baiting and religious bigotry, I think he’d be a disaster for our party and as Senator Cruz would not be my first choice, I think he is a Republican conservative who I could support.”

So the only way Ted Cruz can make friends is to have someone slightly more reprehensible than he is as a common enemy? Yup, that sounds about right. That’s kind of how The Bachelor has been one of ABC’s longest-running reality shows. “Yeah ladies, we KNOW you’d rather have a hysterectomy than make out with Juan-Pablo. But he’s the only dick in a twenty mile radius, so what are you going to do about it?”

The Last Man On Earth whatever fine side eye last man on earth

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