A Decidedly Un-Dank Super Tuesday

Bernie’s face is my face after last night’s Super Tuesday results. Not only did he fail to win a single state, even after Hillary Clinton effectively had a meltdown, but Donald Trump won almost every state on the Republican side. America, I have spoken to you time and again about your drinking habits, but you never seem to listen. You just won’t be satisfied until you have a tanning bed’s shart as president, will you? Haven’t you seen Idiocracy? Do you really want the equivalent of this guy as our head of state:

US President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

There is a silver lining. There were no Ted Cruz victories. Instead, the state of Ohio stopped huffing paint long enough to give their governor John Kasich a resounding primary victory. In the event of a brokered convention, Kasich could actually be the Republican nominee and stop the nation’s collective bad acid trip in its tracks. Let us hope. Now if anyone needs me, I’m going to be drowning my sorrows in a RuPaul’s Drag Race marathon, pretending that Alyssa Edwards is reading Donald Trump to filth:

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Photo Credits: Giphy, Gif Bay, Drag Official

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One thought on “A Decidedly Un-Dank Super Tuesday

  1. Pingback: Bernie Sanders Brings The Dank Back To Super Tuesday | GossiPoL

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